How-to guide

It’s easy!

1. Run a loud, angry political campaign that appeals to voters’ lower nature. Coalesce  resentments of the underclass. Encourage divisive bigotries and suspicions. Heighten fears of “the other”. Assure voters that only you can fix things. 

2. Utilize The Big Lie. Make up something every hour of every day and trumpet it as if it were utterly axiomatic. Make sure each fabrication is so outrageously dishonest that your adversaries spend half their waking hours in bugeyed disbelief and the other half struggling to refute the lies.

3. React to any criticism with spluttering, self-righteous indignation. Ridicule the press. Devalue education as élitist. Attack critics on a personal level, questioning their patriotism and their intelligence. Promise to destroy the career of anyone who calls-out your lies.

4. Once in office, assert that your orders are not subject to normal checks and balances, that your authority is absolute. When opponents complain, see #3 above.

5. When it feels like your empire is about to crumble, do something crazy and desperate. Declare martial law and order mass arrests. Drop barrel bombs. Annex the Sudetenland. Launch missiles. The cost will be terrible. Blame your opponents.

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